22 Comments

  1. I too was a youth in foster care. Luckily my mom got me back (my being there was not because of abuse or neglet on her part). My father assaulted me in another state and it took the better part of a year to get me home. I knew kids who aged out. I was terrified it would happen to me too.I was fifteen when I was in foster care and my social worker was already looking for an “independent living” facility for me. My mother fought the state of Texas to bring me home to Mississippi. She died when I was seventeen. I took me ten years to recover from her death and my experience with the foster care system. I pray for these invisible kids…i know the trials they face. We all need to stand up for them.

  2. My life and passion has always been for the young adults aging out of the system or not even aging out but on their own already. It is becuase we have opened our home and adopted 12 young adults after 18.

    My platform as Mrs Kentucky International 2010 is Adoption of Young Adults because it has been life for the last 15 years.

    This video speaks volumes. I also wanted to see how to contact Pamela Couey. I am on Facebook with my page as Mrs Kentucky International 2010 and also Ruth’s Hope Project.

    Thank you for speaking the truth.

    Elaine Bateman
    Mrs Kentucky International 2010

  3. I don’t mean to sound glib about the aging out of the foster care system situations,but I am wondering why these kids can’t stay in the home they are in if they so turn 18?Is it that some people won’t let them(the foster parents) or is it illegal to let them?Is it a state run home? Can they not get a job and go to college and still stay where they are?I can’t imagine saying, “your 18 now,get out”.My son will be 18 in June,but if I had a foster child/ren I couldn’t and I wouldn’t tell them to go.If they are being productive or at least trying to be,shouldn’t they be given the place and time until they are ready to leave?

  4. Dear Laurie,

    I often have thought the same thing. Why can’t they just stay there? Some of our young adults have been in homes for several years and then they are still told to leave.

    I listened to an interview just a few minutes ago that resonates what is going on through out our country.

    This young man watched his brother turn 18 and also watched the same Foster Parents pack his bags and set them outside when the young man was not even home. He gets home and finds his things outside.

    Sad but true. Thank you for caring!

    • I want to help one child who is aging out of foster care. I want to help a 17 or 18 year old young adult who needs help.

  5. Hi,
    I would like to know how to get a child out of foster care back to their family.
    She has been adopted, supposedly, by her foster parents.
    These folks use foster children as slaves and do not care for them.
    She has to attend school and hold down two jobs to survive and take care of herself.
    Her foster parents receive 1700.00 per month to take care of her, but she has to provide for herself and do whatever she is told.
    She worked til 3:30 a.m. and has to come home and work for her parents rather then get sleep in between her jobs and unable to enjoy a day off from school on holidays.
    The system is not working for these children. What can be done about it?
    She is a straight A student, as sweet as she can be and resides in the state of Mississippi.
    She is age 17 and can not be emancipated.
    It’s as if she is in jail.

  6. The only way to change anything in this government is to talk to congressmen and city representatives, governors etc., government officials will do almost anything to be reelected. If enough people raise a stink by contacting these people,petitioning,protesting, posting essays,preenting the situation in a respectful manner and demading that something is done, then it is likely to be done. I am seventeen. I know what bs goes on out there and there are many kids just like me who care about this kind of thing. There are tons of people who care. It is a matter of caring enough to put all your time and effort into your cause in order to make a change. We as Americans have the right to petition the government!

  7. Fighters’, such as yourself are helping those sojourners come to grips with reality. Miss you misha…that russian candy is some good stuff. I’ve released a group on facebook; not4sale; helping those who are on roller-coasters as well.

  8. Children aging out are not legally allowed to remined in the placement homes. These kids are forced out if not by the foster parent then by the caseworkers from DHR. Good foster parents try to find extended placement for these kids but resources are limited. Many of these kids are considered a lost caase becuase of behavioral problems. The system does NOT focus on making sure these kids age out with high school diplomas, or even drivers liscenses. It is as if they are getting released from prison…only without the benifits of services avaible to ensure their success upon their release. No halfways houses or job training programs.

  9. i am writing because i need to know what age kids get to leave fostercare.my sons are so called adopted,yet my oldest son,never lived with the foster family pretty much.hes been sent away and lives with many different people.i never gave my kids up.people made stuff up about me that wasnt true and i lost them.i want my sons to come back home and live with me .the home their in is abusive to my older son.he has had problems with the foster family since he first went there.he will turn 17 in january my oldest one in 2011.i want him to be able to come home.please help me .let me know if i can get them back and how old they gotta be to leave the foster home.thanks alot bye

  10. One thing which can be done to help many of these children who are at this age, 12 and up, is to request a CASA/GAL from the Court. This person can be their liason to many opportunities which the foster parent may not be able to get the child to, or may not know of. CASAs are constantly sent updates on all kinds of programs for children who are about to age out of the system.
    To answer another question presented above, the State from which the child originated is paying for their care, be it good or bad, but the $1,700 (as an example) which was mentioned for one child, is paid by the State. The State therefore has the responsibility to basically, and I know this sounds callous, clear the debt, as soon as possible.
    For the girl who is having to work two jobs, and is not seeing any of her money, she definately needs an advocate in Court.
    We must remember though, many of the children who are ageing out have been through so many foster homes and other placements, they do have behavioral issues. The boy in this movie is nice, but not typical of the ageing out child. We have to take care of the child from the first out of home placement, no matter where it is. We have to wrap a concerned team around this child and keep at least one member of the team with them throughout the processes as they come around, this is most usually a CASA/GAL.
    Volunteer, if not as a CASA, but as someone who can spend some time in the Boy’s Club, or with Child Focus (a group which organizes activities for siblings who have been seperated), and many other groups, even a shelter. Instead of watching TV, write letters to your congressmen and women, make your voice heard for the child who cannot speak.

  11. One of the “jobs” I have in my so-called retirement years (I am 65) is to teach young men and women who want to enter the field of health care to prepare them for certification as a certified nursing assistant. I teach through technical colleges. One of my employers has a contract to teach at the Job Corp. This is an avenue for placement for those who have “aged-out” of foster care. Find a local office and get them enrolled – those of you who know any of these children. I recently helped a young man do just that. I teach students from other states mainly Pennsylvania, Washington, DC and even from Etheopia. 100% of those who attend my classes pass their certification (so far) and 80% of those who do so are still employed with benefits and an opportunity for further education. They are provided houseing, food, personal care items, security, varied training including GED, a bonus for completion of the GED and a certification. It is a good program. I highly recommend it. I hope this is helpful.

  12. Have your questions been answered? These are such sad stories. I went through foster care as well and it changed my life for the better. i now am learning the system to empower young people to also turn their own lives around weather they can return home or if it is not the best thing for them. however sad stories like this need to be improved! What state do you live in? You can access your laws and find out your / the young person’s rights. You can find me on face book with my email Hescmnbk6363@yahoo.com to ask directly since i wont be back on this site most likely.

  13. I am 16 and in the foster care system in Washington. I have been through 17 different placements in 4 years. Turning 18 is the scariest thing that is going to happen to me. Also my Social Worker is trying so hard to get me out of the system before i turn 18 so i dont get aged out. i really have hated the system. But dont blame the social workers, they are doing as much as they can they have 27-30 cases per person and that isnt per kid thats as a whole. thats alot of kids. if you want to blame anyone blame the Federal System they did it to us

  14. Kristan: Please check out the job corp opportunities in your state – have your social worker do so. It can be a great beginning for you. With the things taken care of for you, such as housing, food, etc. you can concentrate on your education. These facilities are nice and secure. With the skills that you receive, you can be prepared to enter the work force in a job that is secure – health care – or something else of your choice. All the necessities of life will be at your fingertips as a provider for self. The uncertainties can be taken care of by YOU! God bless and guide you.

  15. Kristan,

    Thank you for sharing your experience with us. You appear to be quite intellegent and have a good grounding under you. I do hope your case worker can get you out of the system before you turn 18, that has to be very scary! Do you have a CASA/GAL volunteer? If not, you have been in the system long enough for either your social worker or your attorney to request one for in the Court. This person will be of such great help to you in working with your fears, and in keeping on a successful path whether you are adopted or not. Ask your social worker about it. Also, check out the national website, http://www.nationalcasa.org.

    I wish you all the best, and keep your chin up even though each day has challenges which seem insurmountable for you. You can make it, I know of kids who have aged out and are great successes now.

    I am a CASA in Las Vegas, and if you ever need to talk feel free to write to me at winsorj@live.com.

    Rene

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  17. I was a foster parent for over 3 years and then had a girl that aged out but didnt want to leave but my wife wanted her to leave and we divorced over it and other issues. The girl, stayed with me, working and having some fun until she turned 20.
    I would like to find a way to take in a kid that is a bout to age out or is 18 and has aged out. I would like to give one a place to live, and help any way I could if they get a job and start helping themselves toward actually moving on to their own lives, or become a memember of ouir family. How do i go about that.
    dragonheart2010@live.com

  18. Thank you to all of those people who wrote to me with advice. I am now 17 and live in Alaska I have a wonderful family and they now have Family Guardianship of me. I am in my senior year of High school and I have amazing grades thank you for your prayers as well. Foster care has been tough but anyone who can make it to family I believe has a beautiful chance at life. And even if you don’t Make it out of fostercare and you just age out, you still have equill opportunities that other foster children have.

  19. Dear John Hurley,
    If you want to help foster children you need to just ask about the local foster children become a big brother to one of them. Volunteer at the local boys and girls club. Just be there for them even if they refuse you. This is the best thing i have ever found for me. There are also different organizations that really helped me. Service alternatives for instants they help troubled teens and even troubled little children. You will need to get fingerprinted and have other protocalls taken care of. Generally you will be with these kids until they are 18 but in some cases you will be with those children even after they graduate from the program and age out of foster care. You will be a mentor and a tutor for these children and most of all you will be there friend.

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