Comments on: A Very Critical Look At Foster Care http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/ Kids at Risk Action (KARA) - Children's Rights Advocacy Network Thu, 02 Feb 2012 02:59:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: wanda http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-44446 wanda Tue, 25 Oct 2011 01:18:34 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-44446 congratulations Teresa! congratulations Teresa!

]]> By: Teresa Kropp http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-44441 Teresa Kropp Mon, 24 Oct 2011 21:54:37 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-44441 Hi Everyone, This is a followup to the lengthy foster/adoption process of my 4 year old foster son, who has severe food allergies. After contacting the Director of the Los Angeles DCFS on getting his adoption process speeded up, I got the usual "Here's some phone numbers; call these people to get some help". In May of this year, I emailed our Board of Supervisor, Mike Antonovich, about my situation, and pleaded with him if he can do something about the stalled adoption process. (BTW, the Board of Supervisors in LA oversees the DCFS, which had about 4 Directors quit or have gotten fired). 3 weeks later, I received phone calls from two DCFS Regional Administrators, saying that they were taking over the case. They got a call from Mike's office, asking why this adoption is taking so long. After this happened, the process went a lot faster; at one point, the DCFS health nurse tried to postpone the adoption process because we didn't do what she wanted us to do -- send our son to see a Failure to Thrive expert at Children's Hospital LA -- by this time, he's already seeing two specialists at that Hospital. I called one of the DCFS Regional Administrators, and gave his assistant an earful. The next day, the adoption process was no longer postponed, and today my husband and I were in Children's Court with our son: his adoption is FINALIZED as of today. Woo-Hoo! He's now ours! After 2 years and 7 months of non-stop nonsense from the DCFS, we were able to get some justice! Hi Everyone,

This is a followup to the lengthy foster/adoption process of my 4 year old foster son, who has severe food allergies.

After contacting the Director of the Los Angeles DCFS on getting his adoption process speeded up, I got the usual “Here’s some phone numbers; call these people to get some help”. In May of this year, I emailed our Board of Supervisor, Mike Antonovich, about my situation, and pleaded with him if he can do something about the stalled adoption process. (BTW, the Board of Supervisors in LA oversees the DCFS, which had about 4 Directors quit or have gotten fired). 3 weeks later, I received phone calls from two DCFS Regional Administrators, saying that they were taking over the case. They got a call from Mike’s office, asking why this adoption is taking so long. After this happened, the process went a lot faster; at one point, the DCFS health nurse tried to postpone the adoption process because we didn’t do what she wanted us to do — send our son to see a Failure to Thrive expert at Children’s Hospital LA — by this time, he’s already seeing two specialists at that Hospital. I called one of the DCFS Regional Administrators, and gave his assistant an earful. The next day, the adoption process was no longer postponed, and today my husband and I were in Children’s Court with our son: his adoption is FINALIZED as of today. Woo-Hoo! He’s now ours! After 2 years and 7 months of non-stop nonsense from the DCFS, we were able to get some justice!

]]> By: Teresa Kropp http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-42006 Teresa Kropp Mon, 31 Jan 2011 21:06:43 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-42006 Hi Wanda, My son is allergic to wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs, and many types of fruits and vegetables -- I have a specific list of brand name foods that he can eat and can't eat. He can eat mostly rice based, and some corn and oat based foods. Very challenging! But I've noticed that when he's eating the right foods, he no longer has diarrhea, and his temperament and behavior is very pleasant. Plus he's gained a pound so far. Thanks for your words of encouragement! Sometimes it seems like a long and lonely road being a foster parent, but when I look into the eyes of my foster son, I see that I'm his only hope to have a safe, happy, and healthy future, and not to give up on him, no matter what. Hi Wanda,

My son is allergic to wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs, and many types of fruits and vegetables — I have a specific list of brand name foods that he can eat and can’t eat. He can eat mostly rice based, and some corn and oat based foods. Very challenging! But I’ve noticed that when he’s eating the right foods, he no longer has diarrhea, and his temperament and behavior is very pleasant. Plus he’s gained a pound so far.
Thanks for your words of encouragement! Sometimes it seems like a long and lonely road being a foster parent, but when I look into the eyes of my foster son, I see that I’m his only hope to have a safe, happy, and healthy future, and not to give up on him, no matter what.

]]> By: wanda http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-42004 wanda Mon, 31 Jan 2011 20:29:00 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-42004 Teresa, wow and thank God for foster moms like you! Keep fighting for the rights of your child and don't let anything cause you to give up. You are making a difference just by continuing to stand rather than throwing your hands up in despair and giving up. One of the foster moms to the child that I am a guardian of has voiced the same complaints as you write about concerning the health care of her foster child. She has kept pushing and finally got through and the child got the needed testing to determine what was causing her severe skin outbreaks. Turns out it was severe food allergies. She feels that the doctors and nurses have now labeled her as a b-word, but she says it is worth it just knowing that the child is finally being helped. Your childs failure to thrive and daily diarehha sounds like it could be celiac disease. There is a wasting away of the child when that is present. Usually the child appears to have no behind whatsoever, he is so skinny! It is caused by an allergy to gluten that is present in wheat and other grains. My own child is allergic to wheat so I know all about the frustration of finding the right food for him. I have some recipes and also some brands that are good if you are interested. It was a headache to find what tastes good among all that tastes like cardboard but I have saved the list to help others. My son tested allergic to 94 out of 96 foods! Hang in there and God bless you. I pray for more like you to rise up and be a help. Teresa, wow and thank God for foster moms like you! Keep fighting for the rights of your child and don’t let anything cause you to give up. You are making a difference just by continuing to stand rather than throwing your hands up in despair and giving up. One of the foster moms to the child that I am a guardian of has voiced the same complaints as you write about concerning the health care of her foster child. She has kept pushing and finally got through and the child got the needed testing to determine what was causing her severe skin outbreaks. Turns out it was severe food allergies. She feels that the doctors and nurses have now labeled her as a b-word, but she says it is worth it just knowing that the child is finally being helped.
Your childs failure to thrive and daily diarehha sounds like it could be celiac disease. There is a wasting away of the child when that is present. Usually the child appears to have no behind whatsoever, he is so skinny! It is caused by an allergy to gluten that is present in wheat and other grains. My own child is allergic to wheat so I know all about the frustration of finding the right food for him. I have some recipes and also some brands that are good if you are interested. It was a headache to find what tastes good among all that tastes like cardboard but I have saved the list to help others. My son tested allergic to 94 out of 96 foods!
Hang in there and God bless you. I pray for more like you to rise up and be a help.

]]> By: Teresa Kropp http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-41973 Teresa Kropp Mon, 31 Jan 2011 01:23:19 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-41973 Just an update on our now 3 year old foster son: Turns out his birth mother has had 2 more babies younger than him(her 12th and 13th kid) who are now in another foster home, and which she is fighting custody for. The last 6 months, our foster son's social worker was suppose to serve the legal papers to our foster son's birth parents, which she has not done...so in Children's Court in LA, his case gets delayed. Meanwhile, on March 13th of this year, it will be 2 years since we had him in our home. He has been in and out of Children's Hospital LA seeing specialists on why he's failure to thrive: he's the size of a small 2 year old. He can only get an appt once every 2 1/2 months. I have been taking him to a homeopathic doctor weekly, who has actually helped him with what turns out to be severe food allergies that's causing his daily diarrhea. We pay out of our own pocket for this doctor. Meanwhile, as foster parents we are constantly bombarded with paperwork to fill out, home inspections, phone calls at our workplace -- yet they do nothing about our son's medical and educational issues(his social worker waited 10 months after being asked numerous times to get him Regional Center services -- she waits until after he turns 3 to get him this, which is by law too late, and so he has to go thru the school district to get special ed), his lack of having a birth certificate, and no progress in court in terms of being permanently adopted by us. This is why many of my friends have chosen private adoption or going overseas because they see how we are treated by the LA County Foster Care system. What a big mess the LA DCFS is!!! Foster parents have no rights in the court system; despite having filled out defacto parent forms, and serving all the lawyers involved -- our son's case is given only 5 mins in court(I've seen this 3x in court) -- the judge claimed that he never got the form, even though it was stamped as received by the county clerk. I've basically have decided to write a letter to CA ombudsman for foster care, and well as to my local congressman about his case -- either our son's social worker needs to do her job, or I will seek to have her removed and replaced by another social worker who cares and will do something for our son. Just an update on our now 3 year old foster son: Turns out his birth mother has had 2 more babies younger than him(her 12th and 13th kid) who are now in another foster home, and which she is fighting custody for. The last 6 months, our foster son’s social worker was suppose to serve the legal papers to our foster son’s birth parents, which she has not done…so in Children’s Court in LA, his case gets delayed. Meanwhile, on March 13th of this year, it will be 2 years since we had him in our home. He has been in and out of Children’s Hospital LA seeing specialists on why he’s failure to thrive: he’s the size of a small 2 year old. He can only get an appt once every 2 1/2 months. I have been taking him to a homeopathic doctor weekly, who has actually helped him with what turns out to be severe food allergies that’s causing his daily diarrhea. We pay out of our own pocket for this doctor. Meanwhile, as foster parents we are constantly bombarded with paperwork to fill out, home inspections, phone calls at our workplace — yet they do nothing about our son’s medical and educational issues(his social worker waited 10 months after being asked numerous times to get him Regional Center services — she waits until after he turns 3 to get him this, which is by law too late, and so he has to go thru the school district to get special ed), his lack of having a birth certificate, and no progress in court in terms of being permanently adopted by us. This is why many of my friends have chosen private adoption or going overseas because they see how we are treated by the LA County Foster Care system. What a big mess the LA DCFS is!!! Foster parents have no rights in the court system; despite having filled out defacto parent forms, and serving all the lawyers involved — our son’s case is given only 5 mins in court(I’ve seen this 3x in court) — the judge claimed that he never got the form, even though it was stamped as received by the county clerk. I’ve basically have decided to write a letter to CA ombudsman for foster care, and well as to my local congressman about his case — either our son’s social worker needs to do her job, or I will seek to have her removed and replaced by another social worker who cares and will do something for our son.

]]> By: wanda http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-41968 wanda Sun, 30 Jan 2011 20:20:11 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-41968 Veronica, I'm sorry that your daughter has been hurt. I know that you too must ache since, as a parent who loves her child, I know that when they suffer, mama suffers too! Is this something that you have just discovered? Veronica, I’m sorry that your daughter has been hurt. I know that you too must ache since, as a parent who loves her child, I know that when they suffer, mama suffers too! Is this something that you have just discovered?

]]> By: veronica http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-41956 veronica Sun, 30 Jan 2011 04:42:46 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-41956 my daughter has been abused my daughter has been abused

]]> By: wanda http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-41041 wanda Fri, 10 Dec 2010 15:50:55 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-41041 @Donna -You can google the word Guardian ad Litem along with the name of the city and state that you are in to learn more about being one. It is a court appointed volunteer that advocates for abused/neglected children who have been removed from their home and placed into foster care or a group home. I have done it for 5 years and it has been one of the hardest most wonderful things I have ever done! You can certainly make a tremendous difference by offering just a few hours a month. @Jeff- I am doing well. I hope you are too! Don't forget the website I told you where I wrote down my life story. There is also a way to contact me through that site if you are in need of personal prayer or support. Thank you for your prayers for me and my husband. @Donna -You can google the word Guardian ad Litem along with the name of the city and state that you are in to learn more about being one. It is a court appointed volunteer that advocates for abused/neglected children who have been removed from their home and placed into foster care or a group home. I have done it for 5 years and it has been one of the hardest most wonderful things I have ever done! You can certainly make a tremendous difference by offering just a few hours a month.

@Jeff- I am doing well. I hope you are too! Don’t forget the website I told you where I wrote down my life story. There is also a way to contact me through that site if you are in need of personal prayer or support. Thank you for your prayers for me and my husband.

]]> By: jeff http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-41035 jeff Thu, 09 Dec 2010 21:55:25 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-41035 Hope your doing well wanda? I pray for you also..and for your husband. Hope your doing well wanda? I pray for you also..and for your husband.

]]> By: Donna http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-41034 Donna Thu, 09 Dec 2010 19:15:00 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-41034 I'm a RN in Louisiana, how can I help? Donna I’m a RN in Louisiana, how can I help?
Donna

]]> By: jeff http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-21499 jeff Thu, 22 Jul 2010 12:27:11 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-21499 wanda ,thank you for the beautiful words and most importantly your prayers. i know that prayer works miracles. thank you wanda ,thank you for the beautiful words and most importantly your prayers. i know that prayer works miracles. thank you

]]> By: Wanda http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-20135 Wanda Sat, 10 Jul 2010 03:35:04 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-20135 Jeff- I'm so sorry for what you suffered at the hands of those who were supposed to be caring for you. It was wrong. I have prayed for you back in April and I am still praying for you. I was abused physically and sexually as a child and then at age 16 my mom gave me away when the man she wanted didn't want children. It was then that I was raped 3 times. The only way I could make sense of it back then was to compare it to one of those animal kingdom shows where it portrays the herd together eating in a group and then the predator comes and they all begin to run but there is always one at the back, the one that is slow and has nobody to watch over it and that is the one that is always taken down. I was like that one. Once my mom gave me away the 'predators' knew that I was easy prey, as I had nobody watching over me. My brother was 42 when he confided to me that he had been sexually used by 5 others as a young boy. He told me he was suicidal but I didn't know what to do. I was so messed up from hiding my own suffering. It is exhausting to have to always pretend you are okay when deep inside you know that you're not. He committed suicide just two weeks after we talked. The one thing that I wish I had said to him is that it was wrong and he didn't deserve that. I realize now it is also the one thing that I wish somebody had said to me. Most people just don't know how to handle it so they say either the wrong thing or nothing at all. Silence speaks volumes though and it is usually intrepreted as not caring. I'm so glad you are able to talk to your wife. That is huge! I kept all of mine secret for 33 years. My husband now has a better understanding of why I am the way I am. You said it seems to be getting worse as you age rather than getting better which disproves the old adage that time heals all wounds. That is simply not true. Please seek help such as a support group. Knowing that you are not alone and having others who understand goes a long way in healing. I used to think that God hated me but now I know that He ached for me. God didn't fail me. My family did. I have now gone into prisons and shared my story and trust me, I never in a million years ever thougth I would talk about it to anyone, and certainly not strangers! One day I wrote down something that I believe was from God for me and it has now come true. "I will take your mess and build a nest and broken birds will flock there to be nurtured." I do want to caution you by letting you know that many people I reached out to only further hurt me. They simply don't get it and although it could be said that many of them could have used a heart transplant, most just didn't understand and couldn't cope with my level of hurt and they couldn't give what they don't have. So please, if you get hurt more before finding the right voices to help you, don't you dare give up and climb back inside yourself. For me, I got mad when I realized that there are millions of us out there and I wanted to treat them the way I wish I had been treated when I showed my wounds. Wound sharing is a sacred thing and I will continue to pray for you to be strengthened. I have a blog where I posted my story. (littlegirlme.wordpress.com) It took 12 years to write! I once heard someone say that getting free from our pain hurts for a while, but staying in our pain hurts forever. Bless you on your journey and please keep me informed as to how you are. There is a Bible verse that I really love, you can find it in the book of Ezekiel chapter 16 and it goes like this-"on the day you were born you were unwanted...cast into an open field and left to die..but I passed by and I saw you kicking helplessly about in your own blood and I said LIVE!" And that is my prayer for you. Jeff- I’m so sorry for what you suffered at the hands of those who were supposed to be caring for you. It was wrong. I have prayed for you back in April and I am still praying for you. I was abused physically and sexually as a child and then at age 16 my mom gave me away when the man she wanted didn’t want children. It was then that I was raped 3 times. The only way I could make sense of it back then was to compare it to one of those animal kingdom shows where it portrays the herd together eating in a group and then the predator comes and they all begin to run but there is always one at the back, the one that is slow and has nobody to watch over it and that is the one that is always taken down. I was like that one. Once my mom gave me away the ‘predators’ knew that I was easy prey, as I had nobody watching over me.
My brother was 42 when he confided to me that he had been sexually used by 5 others as a young boy. He told me he was suicidal but I didn’t know what to do. I was so messed up from hiding my own suffering. It is exhausting to have to always pretend you are okay when deep inside you know that you’re not. He committed suicide just two weeks after we talked.
The one thing that I wish I had said to him is that it was wrong and he didn’t deserve that. I realize now it is also the one thing that I wish somebody had said to me. Most people just don’t know how to handle it so they say either the wrong thing or nothing at all. Silence speaks volumes though and it is usually intrepreted as not caring.
I’m so glad you are able to talk to your wife. That is huge! I kept all of mine secret for 33 years. My husband now has a better understanding of why I am the way I am.
You said it seems to be getting worse as you age rather than getting better which disproves the old adage that time heals all wounds. That is simply not true.
Please seek help such as a support group. Knowing that you are not alone and having others who understand goes a long way in healing.
I used to think that God hated me but now I know that He ached for me. God didn’t fail me. My family did.
I have now gone into prisons and shared my story and trust me, I never in a million years ever thougth I would talk about it to anyone, and certainly not strangers!
One day I wrote down something that I believe was from God for me and it has now come true.
“I will take your mess and build a nest and broken birds will flock there to be nurtured.”
I do want to caution you by letting you know that many people I reached out to only further hurt me. They simply don’t get it and although it could be said that many of them could have used a heart transplant, most just didn’t understand and couldn’t cope with my level of hurt and they couldn’t give what they don’t have.
So please, if you get hurt more before finding the right voices to help you, don’t you dare give up and climb back inside yourself. For me, I got mad when I realized that there are millions of us out there and I wanted to treat them the way I wish I had been treated when I showed my wounds. Wound sharing is a sacred thing and I will continue to pray for you to be strengthened.
I have a blog where I posted my story. (littlegirlme.wordpress.com) It took 12 years to write! I once heard someone say that getting free from our pain hurts for a while, but staying in our pain hurts forever. Bless you on your journey and please keep me informed as to how you are.
There is a Bible verse that I really love, you can find it in the book of Ezekiel chapter 16 and it goes like this-”on the day you were born you were unwanted…cast into an open field and left to die..but I passed by and I saw you kicking helplessly about in your own blood and I said LIVE!”
And that is my prayer for you.

]]> By: NJ Marinaro http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-19608 NJ Marinaro Mon, 05 Jul 2010 15:59:16 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-19608 Republishing a report with information from 1986, 1988, 1992, 1995 is good for historical information or to incite comment. Can the person publishing this report cite any new reports or is the best that can be done? Where are the references cited at the end of most paragraphs? I agree, from personal experience, there were many unqualified workers in the child care system 15 or 20 years ago. I don't believe that is the case today. And yes, there is a high turnover rate in both foster care workers and foster parents. I do believe that there is a serious problem with kids transitioning out of the foster care system at 18 years of age. What happens to them and are there any long term studies of how they merge into society? This is an area that needs to be addressed. A 20 year old report is good to show a starting point, but where are we now? Republishing a report with information from 1986, 1988, 1992, 1995 is good for historical information or to incite comment. Can the person publishing this report cite any new reports or is the best that can be done? Where are the references cited at the end of most paragraphs? I agree, from personal experience, there were many unqualified workers in the child care system 15 or 20 years ago. I don’t believe that is the case today. And yes, there is a high turnover rate in both foster care workers and foster parents. I do believe that there is a serious problem with kids transitioning out of the foster care system at 18 years of age. What happens to them and are there any long term studies of how they merge into society? This is an area that needs to be addressed. A 20 year old report is good to show a starting point, but where are we now?

]]> By: jeff http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-12879 jeff Thu, 29 Apr 2010 18:00:39 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-12879 i grew up under the "care"of the state of florida,and let me say that it hasen't been easy until jus a few months ago,that i have started talking to my wife(just married) about the sex abuse i had to indure from caregivers that were supposed to "take care"of us,instead of us "taking care" of them (sexually)....i am wondering if this has some play on why i cant keep relationships or jobs?its even affected my sex life with my wife since i have started to talk with her about it ? im actually very mad about this.....and it seems to be getting worse as i get older because it haunts me everyday of my life.its something that dosent go away...the way i see it,they basically got away with it and that makes me even more mad! cant they be held responsible for this? i grew up under the “care”of the state of florida,and let me say that it hasen’t been easy until jus a few months ago,that i have started talking to my wife(just married) about the sex abuse i had to indure from caregivers that were supposed to “take care”of us,instead of us “taking care” of them (sexually)….i am wondering if this has some play on why i cant keep relationships or jobs?its even affected my sex life with my wife since i have started to talk with her about it ? im actually very mad about this…..and it seems to be getting worse as i get older because it haunts me everyday of my life.its something that dosent go away…the way i see it,they basically got away with it and that makes me even more mad! cant they be held responsible for this?

]]> By: Wanda http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-12032 Wanda Sun, 18 Apr 2010 14:17:36 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-12032 Dear Tiffany, I am so happy that you are in a good place. I wish more people would become foster parents, and I agree with you completely about needing to look closer at those who are foster parents. I am a Guardian ad Litem and had a case where the children were being abused and nobody had listened to the children bc as my own supervisor said, "children in the system manipulate." That is as ridiculous as saying that everyone with green eyes is greedy! I pushed forward and the woman lost her license and the children were moved. God bless you Tiffany! Dear Tiffany,
I am so happy that you are in a good place. I wish more people would become foster parents, and I agree with you completely about needing to look closer at those who are foster parents. I am a Guardian ad Litem and had a case where the children were being abused and nobody had listened to the children bc as my own supervisor said, “children in the system manipulate.” That is as ridiculous as saying that everyone with green eyes is greedy! I pushed forward and the woman lost her license and the children were moved.
God bless you Tiffany!

]]> By: Stephanie Sellers http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-9256 Stephanie Sellers Wed, 10 Mar 2010 01:35:02 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-9256 Dear Tiffany, In a perfect world there would be no need for fosters, welfare, a social system or orphanages. Even with good chances, good people do bad things sometimes and we must deal with the affects. Children left behind should be given a chance, a good chance, the best possible. Orphanages under strict guidelines with adoption initiatives is one possiblity to the failing foster care system. We all want that perfect love. Even with wonderful parents, we don't always get it. I am sorry. Life is not fair. But believe in yourself. Be happy inside. Know that there are many praying for miracles in all our lives, especially the lives of America's children. God gave us suffering for a reason. I know that. Suffering teaches us to help others, to reach out and make a difference. I believe you also know this, in your tender young heart. Dear Tiffany, In a perfect world there would be no need for fosters, welfare, a social system or orphanages. Even with good chances, good people do bad things sometimes and we must deal with the affects. Children left behind should be given a chance, a good chance, the best possible. Orphanages under strict guidelines with adoption initiatives is one possiblity to the failing foster care system. We all want that perfect love. Even with wonderful parents, we don’t always get it. I am sorry. Life is not fair. But believe in yourself. Be happy inside. Know that there are many praying for miracles in all our lives, especially the lives of America’s children. God gave us suffering for a reason. I know that. Suffering teaches us to help others, to reach out and make a difference. I believe you also know this, in your tender young heart.

]]> By: Tiffany Saddler http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-9236 Tiffany Saddler Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:02:14 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-9236 first of all I have to say thank you to Teresa Kropp and her husband for not only being foster parents but for adopting them to. I live in Oregon and I have been in foster care for awhile now and I was placed in two different homes. The first home wasn't right for me and i was then placed in with the family I am with now. In my mind my foster parents are mom and dad to me and I love them for all the time they spent making me feel like I was finally home.I think that the system is messed up and needs a lot of work but I don't think that we should resort to Reincorporate Orphanages that's just as bad as being unsure if the home your in now will be the last home you will be in or if you will be moved on to the next home for what ever reason.There are amazing homes out there for youth and I think that the way that the foster parents are picked needs to be changed and possible foster parents need to be looked at more carefully when being considered. I am sorry I cant say more because honestly I could go on for hours but I have to go please comment back I would like to know what you think about what I said. first of all I have to say thank you to Teresa Kropp and her husband for not only being foster parents but for adopting them to. I live in Oregon and I have been in foster care for awhile now and I was placed in two different homes. The first home wasn’t right for me and i was then placed in with the family I am with now. In my mind my foster parents are mom and dad to me and I love them for all the time they spent making me feel like I was finally home.I think that the system is messed up and needs a lot of work but I don’t think that we should resort to Reincorporate Orphanages that’s just as bad as being unsure if the home your in now will be the last home you will be in or if you will be moved on to the next home for what ever reason.There are amazing homes out there for youth and I think that the way that the foster parents are picked needs to be changed and possible foster parents need to be looked at more carefully when being considered. I am sorry I cant say more because honestly I could go on for hours but I have to go please comment back I would like to know what you think about what I said.

]]> By: Teresa Kropp http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-8801 Teresa Kropp Wed, 03 Mar 2010 21:03:15 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-8801 My husband and I are currently foster/adopt parents to a 2 1/2 year old boy in Los Angeles(he's from the LA County foster care system - DCFS). Before 1 1/2 years old, he has been in 4 foster homes before ours, one of which he was abused. We had him for almost one year. His birth mother rarely makes her weekly visitations with him, and yet she wants custody of him. He is allergic to dairy and egg products, and I suspect he has Crohn's disease, yet the LA Children's Court wants to reunify him with his birth mother, who has been a drug addict for 18 years. This child is the 11th child of hers; she has lost custody of all her other kids. Definitely the foster care system is very, very broken! We adopted our 8 year old girl from the LA County foster care system – DCFS several years ago. She was found abandoned at 1 ½ years old by her mother. It took us with DCFS 3 years to get matched with her, and 2 years to finalize the adoption; a total of 5 years! Even foreign adoptions don’t usually take this long!!! Totally discourages anyone to be a foster/adopt parent with the LA County foster care system! Not to mention that in 2009, 17 foster children deaths occurred within the Los Angeles Dept. of Children and Family Services, despite the fact that some foster parents have spoken up about the dangers of returning children to their parents/legal caregivers. It's too bad that there so many wonderful foster kids waiting to be adopted in Los Angeles, CA, yet the foster care system makes it hard for a foster/adopt parent to adopt! It's ok to be a foster parent, but not to adopt! These kids deserve a permanent, loving home that they can call their parents Mom and/or Dad. One foster care system lawyer commented that it isn't a big deal that our little boy is in a foster home; she said, at least he's not dying. But obviously she doesn't get it that the longer a child is in a foster home, the more it will kill his/her spirit and self-esteem. Every child should feel a sense of love, security, and belonging in a family. My husband and I are currently foster/adopt parents to a 2 1/2 year old boy in Los Angeles(he’s from the LA County foster care system – DCFS). Before 1 1/2 years old, he has been in 4 foster homes before ours, one of which he was abused. We had him for almost one year. His birth mother rarely makes her weekly visitations with him, and yet she wants custody of him. He is allergic to dairy and egg products, and I suspect he has Crohn’s disease, yet the LA Children’s Court wants to reunify him with his birth mother, who has been a drug addict for 18 years. This child is the 11th child of hers; she has lost custody of all her other kids. Definitely the foster care system is very, very broken!

We adopted our 8 year old girl from the LA County foster care system – DCFS several years ago. She was found abandoned at 1 ½ years old by her mother. It took us with DCFS 3 years to get matched with her, and 2 years to finalize the adoption; a total of 5 years! Even foreign adoptions don’t usually take this long!!! Totally discourages anyone to be a foster/adopt parent with the LA County foster care system!

Not to mention that in 2009, 17 foster children deaths occurred within the Los Angeles Dept. of Children and Family Services, despite the fact that some foster parents have spoken up about the dangers of returning children to their parents/legal caregivers.

It’s too bad that there so many wonderful foster kids waiting to be adopted in Los Angeles, CA, yet the foster care system makes it hard for a foster/adopt parent to adopt! It’s ok to be a foster parent, but not to adopt! These kids deserve a permanent, loving home that they can call their parents Mom and/or Dad. One foster care system lawyer commented that it isn’t a big deal that our little boy is in a foster home; she said, at least he’s not dying. But obviously she doesn’t get it that the longer a child is in a foster home, the more it will kill his/her spirit and self-esteem. Every child should feel a sense of love, security, and belonging in a family.

]]> By: Mike Tikkanen http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-8782 Mike Tikkanen Wed, 03 Mar 2010 16:24:10 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-8782 During the twelve years I spent in child protection as a guardian ad-Litem, I worked with many caring and capable foster parents. This is a big issue that needs a good deal of discussion & I don't expect that any single answer is going to solve it. During the twelve years I spent in child protection as a guardian ad-Litem, I worked with many caring and capable foster parents. This is a big issue that needs a good deal of discussion & I don’t expect that any single answer is going to solve it.

]]> By: Stephanie Sellers http://www.invisiblechildren.org/2010/02/28/a-very-critical-look-at-foster-care/comment-page-1/#comment-8779 Stephanie Sellers Wed, 03 Mar 2010 16:14:21 +0000 http://www.invisiblechildren.org/?p=1497#comment-8779 Drastic conditions require drastic measures. It is obvious that the charming idea of helping children acquire a normal family life is not a viable option. Reincorporate Orphanges. A system overlooked by a government facility would have less chance at abuse. Private homes are not working. Drastic conditions require drastic measures. It is obvious that the charming idea of helping children acquire a normal family life is not a viable option. Reincorporate Orphanges. A system overlooked by a government facility would have less chance at abuse.
Private homes are not working.

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